My intentions were so good, so pure. ‘Keep it classy!’ I thought, putting the final touches to my website and, later, my blog. I suppose, in retrospect, these (hopefully) regular updates and thoughts were always going to be more sex and sleaze, less Schiele and Satre; I’m doing well so far, given that my first blog was about rough sex and this one is about anal. My mother would be so proud. 
I’ll write something more civilised soon, I promise. Anal sex. Often referred to as ‘Greek’,  due to a more relaxed attitude towards homosexuality and ‘balanced love’ (having sex with males as well as females) in Ancient Greece, it has long been associated with sex only between men, but it is quite clear that this is only half of the story. Women have been having anal intercourse since time immemorial, for a variety of reasons. Take the anal sex pots (and no, I’m not talking about me and my fellow deviants) found in Peru, dating back to the Moche culture that existed between 100 – 800BC. These clay pots depicted sex, but very rarely vaginal sex. Instead, hundreds of  scenes of anal intercourse between men and women were represented in the pottery, which was later discovered by Spanish catholic colonisers. Needless to say, they were – of course – suitably offended and outraged. I suppose the biblical account of God’s punishment of Sodom and Gomorrah; pouring burning sulphur on their cities for having anal sex with two angels would be enough to put anyone off anal sex for life. Except for me, naturally. And you, you filthy perverts.There are a variety of reasons why anal sex might have been a popular form of intercourse in times gone by; the most obvious? Contraception. The phrase ‘one up the bum, no harm done’ seems to have caught on in a variety of cultures before other forms of pregnancy-prevention were conceived (do pardon the pun). In Ancient Sumer, high priestesses often engaged in anal sex to avoid becoming pregnant, which was strictly forbidden for them. Elsewhere, in ‘The Boundaries of Eros: Sex Crime and Sexuality in Renaissance Venice’ (Ruggiero), anal sex was described as ‘a form of birth control that was practiced by some people at every social level, from nobility to humble fishermen’. Anal sex has also been preferred for some women (and/or their partners) who wished to avoid vaginal sex during menstruation. I was first introduced to the concept of anal intercourse as a good, diligent catholic when I was a teenager. At the time, sex seemed to be everywhere, and yet entirely out of bounds, as far as I was concerned. The catchy chorus ‘…if you like it you [should] put a ring on it’ was pretty much my life motto at the time, and the idea of sex before marriage was, for me, intrinsically attached to visions of hellfire and eternal torment. Best stayed away from, naturellement. But perhaps there was a way to have sex and still avoid God’s wrath…a…loophole, so to speak. A’hem. I’d heard whispers about anal sex from friends at my catholic school; some of them were in relationships and quite desperate to ‘give themselves’ to their boyfriends whilst remaining virgo intacta inviolatus incorruptus yada yada yada, and anal sex seemed to be one way to go about this difficult task. Despite being called ‘peccatum contra naturam’ (the sin against nature) or, even further, ‘peccatum illud horribile, inter christianos non nominandum’ (that horrible sin that among Christians is not to be named), it seems that anal was – and is – a hit with a lot of pre-marital catholics. I myself had one sexual encounter prior to getting married when I was younger (all over now – thank the goddesses!) and yes, you guessed it, it was anal sex. But what about if you’re not having anal sex to avoid pregnancy, or period-blood-filled vaginas, or God’s wrath? What if you have anal sex for the sheer pleasure of it? I think something must have stayed with me since losing my virginity (not that my virginity was *technically* lost before my marriage, wink wink nod nod I’m sticking with it nobody question me), and, to this day, I love LOVE anything anal. I’m not sure if in this day and age it can still be considered ‘taboo’ as in previous years, but there’s something that feels decidedly subversive about the act; something…unholy. For me, the pleasure I get from anal sex is almost entirely psychological in nature; I adore the feeling of being used in this ‘unnatural’ way; in a way that ostensibly provides more physical enjoyment to my partner than to me. Well, in theory…It’s also true that I do experience incredible physical pleasure from anal penetration, as do a great many women (though certainly not everyone, by any means – please don’t take this blog as a green light from all womankind!). In fact, though it may surprise some people, I actually find it far easier to have an orgasm via anal sex than vaginal penetration. Though, as I said, a lot of this is wrapped up in the mental aspect of anal sex for me, it also can be backed up by anatomical science:”The clitoris is shaped like a wishbone, and for many women the clitoris extends all the way down to the anus. During anal penetration, you’re also stimulating the clitoral legs.”

• Stacy Rybchin, CEO of My Secret Luxury
  

 From speaking with people with a penis who enjoy being the active partner during anal sex with a woman, it seems that the psychological side is important for their own enjoyment, as well as mine. I’ve spoken with those who enjoy the ‘taboo’, the fact that anal sex is thought of as ‘dirty’, and, yes, the thought that the woman may be experiencing discomfort or even pain as the passive partner during penetration (no judgment here – as long as it’s consensual, it’s hot hot hot). So much of sexual enjoyment in general is dependent on what is occurring in our minds, so I suppose it should come as no surprise that anal sex is no different. When I began writing this blog, I actually intended that it would be a guide to having anal sex (both for the passive and the active partner), but I guess I got sidetracked. The truth is, enjoyment of anal sex is quite individual (like pretty much every type of sex), and so I’m not sure that there can be a definitive guide on how to do it. Different people enjoy different types of anal stimulation, and so, really, the only way to have good anal sex is to communicate with the person that you are having anal sex with. There are, however, a few things that I personally enjoy, or do in preparation for anal intercourse that I will write about here briefly; the rest, you can ask me about in person!Preparation.For me, proper preparation for anal sex is an almost sacred routine that is an absolutely essential part of getting ready for the big event. This is down to personal preference, and there are those who argue for various reasons against douching, but, personally, I could never enjoy anal sex unless I felt totally clean south of the border. The following advice applies to people of all genders who wish to clean internally in preparing for anal sex. The amount of douching that I would recommend depends on a couple of things; namely, the time that will elapse between cleaning and having sex, and – to some extent – the intensity of the sex that you are preparing to have (different factors can be considered here, from the size of the penis and/or toys that will be penetrating the anus, to the length of the session you are anticipating and so on). I mostly prefer to use a bulb douche when preparing for anal sex, and will generally do this approximately 30 minutes before it begins. You’ll want to ‘rinse’ until the water runs clear, and be careful of any water that may still remain inside (let me be your canary down the mine – running for a taxi because you’re late to your booty call could result in an unpleasant and embarrassing shock if you haven’t allowed time for total expulsion). For more intense or longer anal sessions, I will give myself a full enema approximately an hour beforehand.  Getting warmed up.
Like any sex, anal sex can be better with foreplay. This can include different types of stimulation to the anus, depending on what you/your partner enjoys. Rimming is often a great pre-cursor to anal sex, and something that I enjoy immensely. Other types of foreplay include gradually stretching open the asshole in order for it to accommodate a penis/a bigger toy etc. This can be done with fingers or toys (personally I prefer toys though, in all honesty, my overall preference is often to go straight to the main course, so to speak. I sometimes find too much prior stimulation awakens the nerve endings to such an extent that enjoying penile penetration can become difficult and/or painful, though I gather that I may be in the minority in this regard; most people I’ve spoken with who enjoy receiving anal sex enjoy lots of ‘opening up’ before the main event). Remember – whatever type of stimulation you/your partner enjoys beforehand, lube is your friend! The act.For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to write about sex between a penis possessor and a woman when talking about anal sex here. Anal sex can take lots of different forms and they don’t all have to involve a penis!  Again, this part of the intercourse will depend on the preferences of those involved; some like to begin very slowly and for the sex to be largely gentle throughout. Others (myself included) enjoy anal sex pretty much the same way as vaginal penetration; fast, slow, shallow, deep – it’s all good! As I mentioned above, proper lubrication is an essential part of healthy anal sex, and saliva doesn’t count as lube! Often people prefer silicone lubricants for anal sex (my favourite is Pjur Original), though I’ve tried some very good water based ones as well (SPIT being my favourite – somewhat ironically, given what I’ve just said about saliva!). As with any other type of sex, good communication between parties is essential; it’s easier to cause damage during anal sex than other types of sex, so make sure that you listen to the passive partner in case they need to tell you to stop/slow down etc.. But, otherwise, enjoy! Anal sex can take many forms and it can be dirty and raw, or sensual – even romantic! I adore it in lots of different ways, and the intensity of it can be thrilling for everyone involved. Contrary to what some seem to believe, I don’t offer ‘greek’ for any reason other than that I enjoy it. I am aware that it is not something that a lot of escorts offer and so therefore the general impression seems to be that those who do merely ‘tolerate’ it; that could not be further from the truth in my case! If you’re quietly curious about anal sex, or you are a seasoned sodomite, make your move and get in touch; neither of us will regret it, I promise…

‘Yes! This is rough sex!’ I scream internally, his big hands holding my hips firmly in place as he drives himself into me, again and again. Harder and harder. He makes sure he’s going in as deep as I can take, maybe a touch deeper. Grabbing my hair now, and pushing my face into the pillow, he presses himself against me, making a noise somewhere in between grunting and panting in my ear. I feel close, so very close. This is it. This is what I’ve been trying to write about, tapping my fingers onto the tops of the computer keys for hours earlier in the day but writing nothing, unsuccessfully attempting to put into words what this actually is, what it involves. Before I can think on it anymore (or have the orgasm I’m yearning for), he pulls out and forcefully flips me over, slapping my legs apart. He starts to lick his fingers, all the while looking at where he’s about to imbed them. 
This. Is. Exactly. What. I. Want.
Rough sex. The very best sex, if you ask me. The kind that has you begging for him to stop, but needing for him to go on…and on, and on. Is rough sex kinky? I don’t know – I guess so, in the sense that it can’t be easily described as ‘vanilla’, but how do you put into words a kink that doesn’t fit neatly in a box? Can something be described as kinky if there’s no fetish equipment involved? No role-play? No uniforms? Only the two of you, perhaps some sex toys, maybe a bed, or a sofa, or a kitchen top. Or the floor. Mmmmm, the floor. 
Where was I? So easily distracted. I’ve been around the block as far as kink goes, trying everything I can on a journey of pure hedonistic discovery, trying to figure out what I like, what I need. From ultra fetishistic, rubber-clad play as a domina, to donning regulation knickers and white socks as the naughty school girl who is about to be bent over the desk and spanked. But, for me, it always comes back to rough sex. For all of that other stuff to disappear. To be taken, to be swept up in a sweaty, brutal, frenzied communion. To be fucked. In these moments, I forget what it is to be human, giving in to my deepest animalistic urges. The submissive side of me needs to yield to his dominance, and to take whatever it is he has to give me. 
So, how do you have good rough sex? When moans of pleasure can  so easily sound like groans of pain (and not the good kind), where do you draw the line between ‘I can’t take it – please go on’ and ‘this isn’t fun anymore’? As with any kinky sex, discussion about boundaries, likes and dislikes, as well as a safeword that might be used if it gets too much is all essential foreplay. Surrendering yourself to rough sex is so much better, so much more satisfying, if trust and a mutual respect is established long before play begins, and healthy communication is maintained during the act itself. This applies whether you are playing with a professional, or not. 
As a provider, rough sex requests are some of my absolute favourites, but I think sometimes it can be hard for a prospective client to make that initial step of asking, particularly if we haven’t met before. It is vital, however, that I know before we meet that this is something you’re interested in; springing it on me when we’re already playing is not only non-consensual, but it also makes it impossible for me to get into the right head space and therefore, at best, enjoying myself becomes pretty much impossible and, at worst, I might find what you are doing traumatic. Sitting down and chatting beforehand is all part of the fun; this way you can learn about how to be rough with me without going too far, or doing things that are beyond my limits. I’m sure you’ll agree that the anticipation of rough sex is nerve tinglingly exciting, and talking about what we are going to do only adds to this. 
So – take that step, figure out what it is that you want, and make contact. Don’t be shy; I’m not going to think that you’re weird, or that you’re a bad person just because you want to be rough with me. In fact, it’s likely I’ll look forward to our meeting more than you can know!
And then…then we can melt into each other, the rest of the world becoming background noise as we play this brutish game, as we dance this untamed dance. We can lose ourselves in each other, pushing, pulling, thrusting, capitulating. I can surrender myself as you take what you want. However you want.